Thursday, December 11, 2014

I Can Quit Blaming Myself for my Son/Daughter's Autism or Mental Illness

 If only I would have known more or been more careful when I was pregnant; If only I would not have given my baby a multitude of vaccinations; If only I had tried harder with the gluten free/casein free diet; If only I had gotten the expensive attorney and gone to fair hearing for more speech therapy; If only I had been more consistent with the vitamin and fish oil regimen; If only my spouse would follow through on the sensory diet; If only I would have mortgaged the house used the money for gamma globulin infusions;  If only I had stuck with the new chelation treatments; If only I had lived a better life, If only I tried harder in controlling my child's stims; if only I had more play-dates and insisted on full inclusion, if only I were doing a better job of parenting... my child would not have autism or mental illness.   Come on!  It is nobody's fault... When I accepted this, I felt like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders.


When I accepted the fact that my sons had autism, I believed that I would never again have a reason to smile, or laugh.  Later we found that our daughter also had mental illness.  Getting together with other parents who had similar circumstances was invaluable.  It was such an amazing gift to have a place where we could go and be understood.  Finding other parents going though similar life challenges is a real life and sanity saver.

Now as I daily work these steps I experience a peaceful quality of life I had never dreamed possible.  We now had a new way of acting on life rather than reacting to it.  A new way of dealing with life's challenges that are quality of life enhancing rather than destroying.   I felt for the first time in many years, free and serene.

Working this program is a daily journey that is rewarding and provides an opportunity for personal growth.  I will be working this program for the rest of my life.  It is a way to cope with life's challenges.  The 12 Steps is a proven life changing program that is working for millions (whose life challenges were considered hopeless)  around the globe.  It originates within Alcoholics Anonymous.  Since then all types of Addicts, Codependents, (50+ different types of Anonymous Groups) and their family members (including parents) have found a "Quality of Life" Recovery.

The challenges of being a parent with a son/daughter with autism or mental illness do not end.  My circumstances have not changed.  But the quality of my daily life is now better than I ever dreamed possible.

I would love to hear your share of experience, strength and hope.  Send a confidential email by clicking on my profile photo icon.  Find another parent in your area to share your story with.

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