Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Step One and Reflection Questions


Step One


We admitted we were powerless over ________(autism, mental illness) and that our lives had become unmanageable.



Step One is the beginning of a journey that will eventually lead us to the experience of the following "promises" in our own lives:


"...We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.  We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.  We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.  No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.  That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.  We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.  Self-seeking will slip away.  Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.  Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.  We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us..."


The practice of Step One will bring us peace of mind, that is not dependent upon whether or not our child is cured.  By practicing this Step, our serenity will not be held "hostage" by autism, mental illness or any other life event.

In Step One we stop trying to be in control of life. We cease blaming ourselves or others.   Just for today, we are not at war with anything or anyone.  We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and we can't control it.  Self care and balance are the new priorities in our lives.

Powerless means that are not running this "show" called life.  We need to see ourselves, not as the Director, but as one of the actors.  I did not get to decide whether my child would have Autism. The things that are most valuable to me, I have no control over. 

When I forget and believe that it is my job to "run the show", my life is unbearable.  I make others miserable when I try to control the details of their lives.  In order to survive and thrive in this life, I must accept that I am powerless over it.  When I surrender and accept life, on life's terms, I find peace.  


I can decide my reaction to life’s circumstances, but I am powerless over what life brings.  I can decide my reaction to my child’s Autism, but I am powerless over the reality that my child is affected by it today. 


God Grant me the Serenity,
To Accept the things I cannot Change,
Courage to change the things I can, 
And the Wisdom to know the difference.


Applying Step One to My Life

1.    What are the different things I have tried to cure my son/daughter's autism, mental illness?
2.   What have I sacrificed to try and cure my son/daughter or make them indistinguishable from their peers?
3.   In what ways is my life unmanageable? What is unacceptable in my life right now?  What people/situation have I been struggling to change?
4.   What does it mean for me to be powerless and for my life to be unmanageable?
5.   Share these answers with someone who has experience in working the 12 Steps.  Ask them what Step One means to them and how they apply it to challenging situations in their lives.  

2 comments:

  1. Thankyou! I am someone with Autism as well as a parent of someone with Autism. Gratefully, these steps have been a working part of my life for decades. This is the sanest most productive thing I've read on helping the families. I was looking for a 12 step group that helped people with Autism/Aspergers get past some of the resentment and fear I'm seeing from other Autistic People. The resentments from going through some of these *cures* or forming the idea that they're not enough is killing them. Has a group for Autistic people been started yet that you know of?

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    Replies
    1. Hello,
      I was wondering if you have located a group? I have not come across any. How about starting one? Sounds like you would be the PERFECT person to start such a group! Take your 12 Step experience and start a group! Let me know how it goes!!! I have started a group before. It really is easy and very fulfilling.
      Best,
      Dawn

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